Dismantle Emotional Heart-walls


Each of us has parts of ourselves we keep to ourselves. Maybe it was some past action, some perceived shortcoming, or maybe just private thoughts that we feel are best kept private. On top of that have been times when we have been hurt of traumatized. Then we build strategies to keep those traumas from every happening again. So, we don’t touch the hot stove. We don’t jump into the shower without checking the water temperature first and that first sip of coffee is taken gingerly so we don’t burn ourselves. Our subconscious mind builds defenses as well. If we have embarrassing habits, we hide them. We build emotional walls to protect ourselves. These may be a simple as not asking someone outside our ‘league’ on a date. It may be something more complex where we hide who we really are from everyone. If you live in a culturally conservative area, you are most likely uncomfortable telling everyone around you about your radionic work. It isn’t that you are hiding, it is just easier to not have to answer some of those questions. More than that, there are times when you just don’t want the judgement of others. One issue with these emotional heart-walls is we often keep them long after they have lost their usefulness. But the most significant issue has to do with how we see ourselves. Our heart-walls directly affect our self-image. Here is how. We form our image of our selves in relation to those around us. For instance, I am well respected for my knowledge in some circles, but I wouldn’t even consider expecting that same level of respect in others. I am a veteran and spent 20 years in the military, but I did not see combat. So, combat veterans have a great deal of experience that I do not. Even more, I have been retired for longer than I was in the military, so my ‘experience’ while relevant in a lot of areas is out-of-date. So, when I am among my fellow veterans, I defer to those that have the experience and up-to-date information. But when I am around non-veterans, I cheerfully expound on those things I know. How I see myself in these social circles is a reflection of how they see me. So, if they see me as an expert, then I tend to see myself as one as well. Case in point. I was once deployed to an area where I was simply dropped into a situation and given very little direction as to what needed to be done. When I got there, I realized that no one there knew I had no specific orders. Nor did they know I was pretty much as clueless as they were. But since they didn’t know, I simply decided I was in charge until someone told be otherwise. For the next six months I was pretty much king of my own kingdom. By the time my superiors realized what I was doing, everyone around me already accepted me as being in charge, so even my superiors accepted it. I had crafted the personality I wanted to project. The soldiers and civilians around me reflected that projected back and that reinforced my self-image. In this instance I used the reflection principle to bring out what I wanted and needed for this project. But with our emotional heart-walls in place, we keep the most vulnerable parts of ourselves shielded from the world. Often these vulnerable parts are also the best parts. We never want to get hurt again. So the outside world only see the rest of us. Then reflects back what it sees. Since we don’t show the best of us, we don’t see the best of us and pretty soon we start to believe that the person the world is seeing is who we really are. It took me a long, long time to get over being the ‘king of my own kingdom’. I am told that I was hard to live with when I got back…… But for most people, they don’t have such a graphic example. They just live day by day being the best person they know how to be and reflecting back to the community the person the community sees…. We find a role, try our best to fill that role and hide everything that doesn’t fit. We don’t show who we really are. The world sees only what we wish them to see, so we only see what they reflect to us. We see ourselves as less than we really are, because that is what we show others. As we see ourselves as less, we find we must hide more of ourselves and build our walls even higher. As the walls go up, the world sees us as less, reflects that, and we hide even more. It becomes a self-perpetuating process. The more we hide, the more we feel we must hide. At some point we reach a place or equilibrium. We cannot hide any more. So, we survive at that level. However, our very health and wellness is a direct reflection of our self-image. So, if we have a poor self-image, our health will suffer. And until our self-image is restored, our health cannot be restored. But our self-image, is directly related to the emotional heart-walls we have built to protect the most precious parts of ourselves. That is why I insist on dismantling the emotional heart-walls, before I work on self-image.